Many times I was asked these questions:
What do you want to do?
What are your goals?
What is your purpose in life?
I tried a lot to find answers to these questions within myself but I without success!!!
I always used to silence my thoughts. The mere touch of a thought that I don’t know what to do or if I really want to do something or not, was frightening. Hence the silencing
It is because I know myself well enough that can confidently say that I am not able to do what I do not like to do. For a while I can, but not in a long term.
So the question stays, if I don’t want to do whatever things are around me, then what do I want to do?
Sometimes the question felt overwhelmingly tough.
I felt irritated and confused about myself.
But then I started to take the question comfortably and tried to think about it calmly.
I came to realise that this question is not going to leave me and it is going to accompany all my life.
I guess it comes in everyone’s life.
So I accepted the question and started thinking.
It only took me a few days then until I realised that I love rap and singing!
Since my childhood I am always humming songs! Always I have had a passion for singing.
Through this realisation understood that there are many things in my life which I enjoy doing a lot.
But out of all these things, singing is the one thing that fulfills me.
Then when I knew what I want to do, the second question raised:
How will I do it now?
Unless someone guides you, you will never be as good at singing as you could be!
So I found out all about singing classes in Panna and the costs.
I came to know that a singing class costs a monthly fee of Rs.1000 INR.
I am still in the final phase of my school education and not yet earning money myself.
So how can I pay the fee?
After giving it some thought I wrote a message to my brother telling him about my decision to start singing classes again and about the monthly fee I was not able to pay.
Then I waited for his reply with my fingers crossed.
Shortly after I got a notification on my phone! It was a message from my brother. I was still scared.
And I was murmuring to myself whether to open the message or not!
Then I said to myself: “lets not be scared about an answer I might never even receive”
And when I opened the message and I saw that my fear was without reason. He wrote that yes, he can pay my class fees and I can attend the singing class!!
I was alone in my room at that time and I started dancing 💃 I was so happy and my heart started dancing too!!!
I was not so much worried about how I could get to the class in Panna because many people go to Panna from the village everyday and come back.
I hoped that I might get a lift from villagers and come back the same way.
My hope was not deceiving!
My cousin’s brother is going to Panna every day to do some work there.
So he takes me back every evening on his way home.
And sometimes our Pappu Bhaiya, when he goes back to his village, he also drops me in Panna.
So I am very Thankful to all these beautiful people!!!! Because of their help I am able to go to my class everyday and learn my passion!!!!!
So when anyone asks me these questions again:
What do you want to do?
What are your goals?
What is your purpose in life?
I now can gladly say:
Singing!
Expressing myself by singing!
To make people happy with my singing!
